(not that kind of director!)

Catholics like spiritual directors. Good luck finding one…but we like them a lot.

Good luck finding a handy definition for spiritual direction as well. Basically, THE Spiritual Director is the Holy Spirit. The human director is a person with whom you discuss your spiritual journey, who teaches you to notice and yield to God’s call for your life. Expect that she doesn’t tell you what God wants. Instead, she asks questions that help you hear God’s voice in your soul. Clear as mud?

OK, let’s do a via negativa exercise: getting at a definition by looking at what spiritual direction is not.

Directee: I’m having a hard time praying. I’ve only prayed twice this month.
Not a Spiritual Director: Yeah, me too. I’m kind of wrapped up in election coverage right now. Whaddya think about the veep specs?

Directee: I’m having a hard time praying.
Not a Spiritual Director: Geez. Why is saying a Hail Mary so hard already? It’s 51 short words. Come on, get on your knees, I’m dragging out the rosaries.

Directee: I’m having a hard time praying.
Not a Spiritual Director: So have you been exorcised recently? ‘Cause I can’t think of any other reason.

Directee: I’m having a hard time praying.
Not a Spiritual Director: Well, look, I’ve always thought prayer was overrated. Go do some Reiki or something; that should be enough for God.

Directee: I’m having a hard time praying.
Not a Spiritual Director: I’m not surprised. I just don’t think you’re the praying sort. That’s for those people really called to be holy.

Directee: I’m having a hard time praying.
Not a Spiritual Director: So did Mother Teresa. I think you’re called to join the Missionaries of Charity.

Directee: I’m having a hard time praying.
Not a Spiritual Director: OK, here’s what you do. … Got it? Good. That was easy.

The more correct responses would be:
Real Spiritual Director: (nods, silence, waiting for more) or
Real Spiritual Director: Does that concern you? Could you tell me more about that? or
Real Spiritual Director: Hmmm. So what’s going on?

And then a spiritual director listens a lot, trying to guide directees to fully understand what they are saying, and helping them listen to and discern what God is communicating to them at this place in their lives.

Spiritual directors are important because, as the Second Vatican Council underlined for us, all human beings are called to the heights of holiness. But with the clutter and noise of modern life, not to mention the often anonymous feel to many mega-parishes, a companion who is walking the journey helps. Otherwise, it is like training for a marathon without help. Do-able, but so very hard.

This is a journey, remember, with an end–our hoped ultimate end, life in Christ. They’re called directors because they are bellwethers, providing a leading pointer: this way, not that. Some people will call them spiritual companions or friends, to remind people that they are human too, not some super-guru (fair enough point). But when my first director suggested that the term spiritual companion was better, I sputtered “Look, man, I have companions! I need direction!” So do me a favor. Call it direction. I’m trying to start a movement in this little matter.

If you need direction, remember many of the saints were practiced directors, and their causes for sainthood were subsequently offered by grateful directees, who argued that God worked through them in this way for their ultimate good: deep, joy-bearing, peace-filled union with God. So if you cannot find a director, try a saint. But The Holy Spirit will not abandon you regardless: whatever you do, keep moving toward our goal of joyful union with God’s will and love.

While the number of televisions per person in the United States almost boggles the mind, that statistic doesn’t hold a nine day novena candle to the number of Rosaries per Catholic in the US. If you include all the broken ones in the bottom of drawers that are going to get fixed (someday), your numbers start looking like numbers for electronic gadgets in Japan.

So what is it about the Rosary that causes Protestants to have heart palpitations? Well, the Bible has several air-tight, case-closed, how-could-you-even-look-at-such-a-perversion-of-true-prayer verses that on first glance seem to once again damn Catholics to Hell. Not that it really matters since they are all going there anyway for keeping all the books in the Bible, saying that only one person can make infallible statements about doctrine instead of anyone who can read, asking dead people for help and having leaders who wear funny hats. Oh, did I forget to mention the Inquisition? Really, with everything Catholics do wrong, it’s hard to believe that praying the Rosary would even be an issue, but any stick will do.

Basically, the problems with the Rosary come down to two things: 1) repetitious prayer and 2) praying to Mary. The repetitious prayer charge comes from Matthew 6:7-8 which reads “And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do” (New American Standard Bible). The word “meaningless” is also translated as “vain” which is the typical word used by Protestants. The problem with this charge is that no one these days is taught how to diagram a sentence. If people actually knew how to properly angle adjectives off the subject and also knew what a participle phrase is (or not), they would realize that Jesus is using “vain” or “meaningless” (on an angled line below the subject) to modify “repetition”. They would also realize that the full sentence diagram for these two verses actually forms a picture of Pope John Paul II if diagrammed in the original Greek. Or was it Latin?

Further proof that Christ didn’t believe that repetition was a problem is found in the VERY NEXT VERSE where He teaches the “Our Father” prayer. Now why the heck would Christ teach the apostles a repetitious prayer if He had just condemned such prayer? I guess He could have been playing a game of Simon Says:

“Simon says to go baptize all nations.”

“Simon says to take up your cross and follow Me.”

“Pray like this…’Our Father’”.

“Oops! Simon didn’t say ‘Simon says’. You all go to Hell!”

The second common charge against the Rosary is that Catholics are praying to Mary instead of Jesus. Refuting this charge is pretty darn tough since the main prayer in the Rosary starts with “Hail, Mary, full of grace.” And later, “Pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death.” I’m not Bill Clinton so I don’t think I can spin my way out of this. Yes, Catholics do ask dead people, the Mother of God included, to pray for them.

The thing is, Protestants do the same thing except they just ask living people to pray for them. What I don’t understand is why asking living people to intercede for you is fine but asking people in Heaven is a big no-no. I mean, the folks in Heaven are right there (metaphysically speaking) next to the Holy Trinity. And even more, Mary is, well, the Mother of God. Don’t you think Mom has a little more pull than everyone else when she asks Jesus to do something?

If you don’t believe me, go back and read the account of the wedding at Cana (John 2:1-11, that’s near the back of the Bible for all you Catholics). Mary doesn’t even have to ask a direct question! Instead, as comes naturally to mothers, she makes a statement with a command implied and changes the course of salvation history. Notice, Jesus says “My time has not yet come.” and Mary just ignores him! She is so confident in her position as His mother that without actually telling or asking Him to do anything assumes that He will change His plans for His salvific work because she says “They have no more wine.”

This seems proof-positive to me that not only is asking dead people to pray for us a good thing, asking Mary to pray for us is like bringing a gun to a knife fight – you always win.

So next time someone looks at you funny for praying the Rosary, rest assured that while you may look funny, praying the Rosary isn’t going to send you to Hell.